SHERLOCKED: Mark Gatiss and Andrew Scott Panel Transcript * 01 July 2015

 

The following is a partial transcript of a panel featuring Mark Gatiss and Andrew Scott at Sherlocked on Sunday April 26 2015. Rather than a technical issue, we missed the opening of the session thanks to the London Marathon! Swiftly shown through a side door by convention security, the first thing we heard on approaching the panel hall was the gigantic gales of laughter reverberating from within - something that continued throughout the remaining  45 minutes of the hugely silly and thoroughly entertaining panel transcribed below, which picks up with Andrew describing his ongoing surprise at the ongoing success of Sherlock.

Andrew: I couldn't imagine that five years later I'd be sitting in a fake set in front of all these people with the writer, I never thought that. It's very rare that you find a script that's as well written as Sherlock. It's just rare, you don't find them. So I did think it was going to be very special and I did think that people would respond to it, but no I had no idea it would be the international success it is, and it would find its way into people's hearts, so that all down to... [looks at Mark] I can't remember you name.

Mark: Nor can I.

Audience Question 1: Hi my name is Natalie. I just really wanted to know, what are your favourite lines from the show? 

Mark: Favourite lines...

Andrew: Oh.... where is Natalie?

Mark: She's not in the room.

Andrew: [Laughs] I'm just hearing it.

Mark: I think mine is "All lives end, all hearts break."

[Audience applauds]

Mark: Caring is not an advantage. It's true. But where would we be without love? Eh? Andy? [clears throat]

Andrew: [Laughing] Exactly.

Mark: We need a song now. At this time of the evening I like to do a few songs.

Andrew: What's my favourite line? There's so many brilliant, brilliant lines. [Laughs and then pauses]

From the Audience:  Did you miss me?

Andrew: Did you miss me? God, I haven't heard that one before.

[Audience laughs]

Andrew: I think when I had to say in the first series "That's what people do!" when it's said 'People have died.' "That's what people do." Which is a line that you wrote. I thought that was a really brilliant line, because it was the first time that I got an opportunity to reveal how dark he could go, and that was actually before the 'burning the heart out of you', so I thought that was a very brilliant line because it was so apparently nonchalant in a way, I thought it was very dark.

Audience Question 2: I'd like to know if you built a back story for Mycroft and Sherlock when they were children, because they hate each other so much, so what did you do to him as a kid? And secondly I'd like to thank everyone in yellow as you guys rock! [Sherlocked event staff and stewards wore yellow t-shirts]

Andrew: Yes! Absolutely!

Mark: Everyone in yellow in the whole world?

Audience Question 2: And finally because a lot of us are foreigners, if you, sir, the host, you've been asking great questions but we don't know who you are if you could give us your credentials as we don't know you.

Andrew: You got a date!

Moderator: I'm...

Mark: I can exclusively reveal that David is the villain in Series Four!

[Andrew and the audience explode with laughter]

Mark: So you know, be careful what you say! Yes of course, there is a back story, but as George Lucas could have taken a very good lesson, [Yoda voice] "Back story reveal you not do." It's there, but we are dripping it out in bits and pieces because that's where the fun is. Sherlock and Mycroft have a very spiky relationship but obviously it comes from a place of deep affection I think. It's a very 'family thing'. We did actually take a bit out of The Great Game, which was very explicitly about what might have gone on, we thought it was a bit too early. There are some clues, really, about what's gone on. But stay tuned! Sometime in the next thirty years you will find out!

Andrew: If we're not dead!

Audience Question 3: Hi my name is Charlotte...

Mark: "What's yer name and where d'ya come from?" I love that. Why doesn't someone bring back Blind Date? It's the best programme ever.

Andrew: Absolutely! "If you were a cocktail... [Mark laughs] I'd be a Malibu and Pineapple."

Mark: [to Charlotte] Sorry! Hello! Lot of people here don't understand it!

Audience Question 3: I was wondering Mark, whose idea was it to use 'Lazarus' as the codeword?

Mark: Mine. [Pause] Well, it's you know... obviously, there is precedent. [Laughs] It's the person that Christ brought back from the dead. Obviously it is an in-joke, because I played Professor Lazarus in Doctor Who.

[Audience cheers and applauds]

Mark: You are allowed to clap. [Adopts an American accent] "I made this little picture called uh, 'Doctor Who." We did this yesterday, the James Lipton thing [from 'Inside the Actors Studio] that Americans always do. "I came over here to do a little picture called 'A Fish Called Wanda'".

[Andrew laughs]

Mark: They build it in don't they? I love that. Little place for applause. [Pause] Yes.     

Audience Question 4: My question is for Andrew. I was wondering what made you think to improvise your dancing in the Tower of London break-in?

Mark: The Thieving Magpie.

Andrew: Well the music is so amazing, and I just kept playing it. [Laughs] I don't know, I can't really answer that question, other than it just seemed a very audacious thing for the character to do, to dance, to enjoy it. The great thing about Moriarty is that he really enjoys himself. The people around him are not enjoying themselves very much, but he does. He's got a weird, messed up Joie de vivre. The music is really extraordinary, and it seemed to sort of strike me to dance, so I did.

Mark: So Toby Haynes, who directed that episode, he does that a lot. He did it in Doctor Who as well actually, of pumping the actual score onto the set to get everyone really buoyed up.

Andrew: Yeah, because when you hear the music live, rather than 'we're going to be playing this music later' and you never hear it, it's brilliant, it feels like live theatre.

Audience Question 4: I wanted to ask about the relationship between Moriarty and John in the show. because we hear a lot about Sherlock and Moriarty. I was wondering what Moriarty thinks of John and the role he has in Sherlock's life?

Mark: Well he says he thinks of him as a pet. He's like Sherlock's human companion, because they are very alike - "we're very alike you and I, Mr Bond." Moriarty regards Sherlock as an equal, or almost his equal, and vice versa, he thinks it is quite cute and sweet that he has someone following him around telling him how good he is. They both operate on a slightly Olympian plane, and whereas Sherlock can actually understand what the rest of us are talking about, or growing to understand more, I think Moriarty just thinks of him as like an amusement, really.

Andrew: I think he is envious of him as well.

Mark: Oh yeah. Would you like one? Moriarty should have had a companion. Interesting. Who would that be?

Andrew: Dave!

Mark: I'm afraid that's taken care of! [Pause] Maybe an actual pet! Like a chihuahua or something.

Andrew: A goat!

Mark: No, a talking chihuahua!

Andrew: [Laughing] Too similar to me!

Audience Question 5: Do you have any funny stories from set? And embarrassing ones are encouraged.  

Mark: Uh, no. We have none. Nothing funny or embarrassing.

Andrew: There was... no, that wasn't really...

Mark: Has anything happened recently? I say 'recently'.

Andrew:  Remember we smiled at that joke I told you.

Mark: Oh yes!

Andrew: You remember?

Mark: 2010!

Andrew: In 2010!

Mark: Oh it was funny! That was a good day!

Andrew: They were good days!

Mark: That was A good day.

Andrew: November.

Mark: Oh yes.

Andrew: It was just before Christmas, and remember I said...

Mark: [lost in reverie] Oh!

Andrew: [also lost in reverie] Oh!

[Audience is laughing throughout, then applauds]

Mark: Trying to think of something. The obvious one you've all seen now, which is when Benedict fell over in his sheet. I don't know. Honestly, I'm not just saying this, we essentially make three films in a very short space of time, very hard work, and it's very pressured, and obviously we do have a laugh, but if something goes wrong it tends to be a problem! Rather than being something you actually want to have a laugh about in that way. I mean we do have a good time but I can't think of any specifics, there isn't really a gag reel. You can see the things that were on the DVD... [wistfully] remember DVD? Some of the banter and stuff before takes, it's more like that sort of thing rather than anything colossal. No, I really am sorry. It's terrible. This is going to kill conventions for the rest of time. I'll have to start inventing some. Like other people do.

Audience Question 6: Hi my name is Rachel.

Andrew: Rachel is in a straightjacket, just for people who can't see her!

Mark: Oh you see I was literally going to say 'Rachel has a beard, I'm... worried.'

Audience Question 6: It's a two part question, first part to Mark. How did you decide on the incidental music for Moriarty, like for the Tower of London? And to Andrew, if you could pick a new ringtone for Jim, what would you pick and why?

Andrew: Definitely something by Taylor Swift!

[Cheers and applause]

Mark: I'm going to say this now and I genuinely mean it. I don't know who that is.

Andrew: You don't know who Taylor Swift is? She is the darkest human being on the planet.

[Audience explodes with laughter]

Mark: Is she? What's she done? Is she 'kiss a boy and she liked it?'

Andrew: No, that's... um... I hate that song.

Mark: Hey, Top of the Pops is coming back!

Andrew: [Enthusiastically] Is it?

Mark: It is, Friday nights. Unfortunately with Fearne Cotton. Don't print that. [Andrew laughs] It's coming back, isn't that exciting?

Andrew: When was that?

Mark: Just the other day! The incidental music, the music of course is David Arnold and Michael Price, and The Thieving Magpie was Toby Haynes, the director's decision. Everything else was David and Michael's brilliant score. [Pause] Have a shave now.

Audience Question 7: In the original stories Moriarty's presence is basically very much in the background even though you know he is there, so I was wondering why you decided on putting him in basically every single episode?

Mark: The good thing is, going back to the original stories, we've said this a lot but, you know... Conan Doyle essentially created the idea of the supervillain, and one of the reasons we wanted to go in a very different direction, and then when we saw Andrew everything came together to make him a very different kind of figure. But also it was mostly the change from the original idea of doing six hour long episodes into three ninety minute films meant we had to bring everything up a bit scale wise. The original plan would have been by the end of episode five or six we would have started to introduce the concept of Moriarty, but we sort of just brought it right up to the beginning so that Phil Davis' character in A Study in Pink is actually a part of the conspiracy, and then there's a little bit of him in The Blind Banker and then it comes to fruition. So it's about foregrounding that stuff because of the scale of it, but also the notion of Moriarty as Sherlock's archenemy is entirely a creation of the films. We've all become used to it as they are the great sparring partners. So we were trying to be careful not to overuse him, and in fact it's one of the measures of Andrew's brilliance that actually he's not on screen that often, but he has a huge presence. It's more about that. But really it was about foregrounding the character earlier because of the scale of the films really.

Audience Question 8: If you could be any other character, who would you be and why?

Mark: In Sherlock? Mrs Hudson.

Andrew: Oh, I'm going to have to say someone other than Mrs Hudson.

Mark: Mr Hudson!

[Audience laughs]

Mark: He had a great time actually!

Andrew: Janet Hudson! [Mark laughs] Mrs Hudson's bitter sister.

Mark: [Laughing] That's a great idea. Barbara Windsor could play her.

Andrew: She's really messy. Yeah, Barbara Windsor as Janet Hudson.

Mark: Maybe Harry Watson, she likes a drink, that'd be fun. Oh I don't know. I'd like to be Rupert Graves because he's so handsome!

[Audience cheers and applauds]

Audience Question 9: If you could meet your characters, what would you ask them?

Mark: [American accent] 'How d'you look so good all the time?'

Andrew: [American accent] 'What is your beauty regime?'

Mark: [American accent] 'Have you been working out?'

[Andrew has dissolved into giggles, while the audience is howling with laughter throughout]

Mark: That's what I'd ask.

Andrew: [American accent] 'Have you been working OUT?' [Laughing] 'Are you beach body ready?' [Still laughing] How do you get beach body ready? What the hell does that mean? Anyway...

Mark: There you are.

Audience Question 10: Out of all the characters in Sherlock, who do you think is the most fashionable?

[Mark and Andrew share a glance at each other, before Andrew mimes...]

Andrew: 'WESTWOOD!'

[Audience cheers and applauds]

Mark: This is the little known fact, that's what we're here for. It was originally 'PRADA!' and we couldn't afford it!

[Andrew and the audience explode with laughter]

Andrew: It's a much better line 'Westwood', much better!

Mark: Yeah, yeah.

Andrew: I think that answers that.

Audience Question 11: Hi, I'm Lydia, from the US.

Mark: Whereabouts?

Audience Question 11: Louisiana, New Orleans.

Mark: Lovely.

Audience: You're both fabulous first of all.

Mark and Andrew: Thank you.

Mark: It sounds like Kevin Spacey is in the room.

Andrew: What? [Giggling]

Mark: It sounds like Kevin Spacey is in the room. House of Cards. Hello.

Audience Question 11: That you for everything you put in that draws reference from the Canon. But are you really talking to us with ties?

Mark: Talking to you with ties?

Audience Question 11: Talking to the fandom through your ties.

Mark: Oh! I've seen a bit about this, I find it extraordinary. I was saying a bit about this yesterday, some people read amazing things into it, as if we've taken over London and repainted things. Someone asked me yesterday if we put the Pathology Department thing under St Bart's Hospital. No, we said no! [Andrew laughs] No, there's literally nothing on the ties. First tie Andrew wears has skulls on it, which was a design decision. I've seen something about my tie having umbrellas on, it doesn't, they are swifts I think, they are birds. There's nothing, there's no tie code. No tie code. Sorry. I wish we'd been that clever, but we haven't. Sorry!

Andrew: Thai food!

Mark: Yes! All the messages are in the Thai food!

Audience Question 12: My question is about the ringtone as well. Mark, why did you pick Staying Alive, and also Andrew, are you a BeeGees fan now?

Mark: We chose it because we're big fans of the BeeGees. No, obviously it's the obvious thing to do for the whole idea of 'staying alive' and the suicide and all that, but also it then very quickly became a brilliant campaign didn't it? Which was a total coincidence. If someone collapses in front of you, the way to restart someone's heart is [the rhythm] to Staying Alive. It's rather clever that. Wasn't my idea. But we are huge fans of the BeeGees, aren't we?

Andrew: Uh...?

Mark: Just say it!

Andrew: I'm not so big a fan of the BeeGees.

Mark: I love the BeeGees!

Andrew: I like their songs. [Laughs] I just don't their...

Mark: Hair. Two of them are DEAD Andrew.

Andrew: Double denim.

Mark: [American accent] Can you live with that?

Andrew: I can live with that!

Mark: [American accent] 'Are you beach body ready?'

[Andrew laughs]

Audience Question 13: Hello! We're from South America! Chile!

Mark: South America!

Andrew: South America!

Mark: Chile! Gosh, it's like the bridge of the Starship Enterprise!

Audience Question 13: First of all, you have  a lot of fans in Chile, and I was wondering if you could say hello to them for the camera! 

Mark: Yes! HELLO CHILE!

Andrew: HELLO CHILE!

Audience Question 13: Sorry! She wasn't recording! Can you say it again?

Mark: YES! Ok, give us a countdown. 3, 2, 1...

Mark and Andrew: HELLO CHILE!

Audience Question 13: Thank you! I have a question for Mark and Andrew. For Mark - are we going to see more of James Moriarty's second in command, Moran? And for Andrew, what would you think Moriarty's second in command would be like if he had one, like Sherlock has John?

Mark: Well, we made a conscious decision in The Empty Hearse. Colonel Sebastian Moran is the main villain in the original story, The Empty House, and we toyed with the idea, but the thing is he's basically not as good as Moriarty. There is a character, the assassin is called Moran but it's just a nod to it really. I mean it doesn't rule out the possibility of it, but I think it sort of slightly takes away from the pre-eminence of the main villain if you've got a second in command who isn't quite as bad, you know? He's  like the nineteen most dangerous man in London I suppose. So it doesn't rule out the possibility but not in the immediate future I don't think.

Andrew: I haven't thought about that too much as I do think one of the main things I think about...

Mark: Also you can't read.

Andrew: I can't read. I can't read, I haven't read  any of these scripts. Mark just says every line to me, and I repeat it. [Mark and Andrew laugh] Out of the corner of every one of my close ups you can see Mark.

Mark: This little billow of cigar smoke.

Andrew: But one of the things I think about in playing the character is how lonely the character is. I think that's important for me, just to think of him as a solitary figure, so I don't like to think about that too much.

Mark: All he's got is the talking Chihuahua.

Andrew: And Dave.

Audience Question 14: Hi, I'm Nellie.

Mark: Where are you from Nellie?

Audience Question 14: I'm from Portsmouth.

Mark: Nellie. That's a lovely name.

Andrew: Gorgeous.

Mark: I want to be called Nellie.

Audience Question 14: And it's my birthday today.

Mark and Andrew: It's your birthday!

Andrew: Happy Birthday Nellie!

Audience Question 14: Thank you.

[Audience is applauding]

Mark: Everybody sing Happy Birthday to Nellie please!

[Mark, Andrew and the whole hall sing Happy Birthday - Mark commands "quicker!" after the first verse. The song concludes with applause]

Audience Question 14: Do you shave for Sherlock Holmes?

[The audience explodes in whoops and cheers]

Mark: Actually I do, I'm not going to tell you where.

[Mark, Andrew and the audience all collapse into laughter]

Mark: Well actually I do now. I often wear a beard these days, and I have to, to do Sherlock, so yes, I sort of do! Andrew?

[Andrew is silent. The audience laughs]

Mark: [American accent] 'Are you beach body ready?' [Andrew roars with laughter] You've got a vajazzle haven't you?

Andrew: [Still laughing] I vajazzle for... let's not...

Mark: I vajazzle for Sherlock.

Andrew: Yeah. Get those printed up.

Mark: We've baffled people in here.

Audience Question 15: Hi, I'm Tommy. Andrew, we know you're beach body ready. Mark, are you beach body ready?

Mark: Yes. But I'm not going to tell you which beach. [Laughs] I think I'm beach body ready for Morecombe! [Laughs] Grange-Over-Sandes ready. Anywhere I'm beach body ready for, a kind of grey English beach with a red flag up! [Andrew is constantly giggling] Like in a public information film. Where are you from Tommy?

Audience Question 15: I'm from Kansas.

Mark: Kansas! [Slightly mock ominously] There's no place like home. [Andrew laughs]

Audience Question 16: What is your favourite character that you have ever played?

Mark: [American accent] Andrew Scott. [Pause] That's not my favourite character! Although I am playing you...

Andrew: ... the biopic!

Mark: I'm playing you in the biopic aren't I. Too tall.

Andrew: It was between you and Sally Field.

[Mark and Andrew both roar with laughter]

Mark: [to Andrew] Go first.

Andrew: That's the name of the biopic. 'Go First.'

Mark: Hugo First.

Andrew: Hugo First. What's my favourite character that I've ever played? [pause] I genuinely don't have one. I'm sorry to not be able to answer...

Mark: [under his breath] Moriarty.  

Andrew: ...but you like to...

Mark: [under his breath] Say Moriarty.

Andrew: [stumbling] ...you like to... um...

Mark: [under his breath] Just say it.

Andrew:... James Moriarty.

[Audience laughs and applauds]

Mark: I think mine is Peter Mandelson, who I've just played in a thing called Coalition.

Andrew: Oh yeah!

[Audience applauds]

Mark: In fact the writer James Graham just this morning forwarded me the email from Lord Mandelson. He rather liked it, so that was a relief!

Andrew: Oh great!

Mark: Yeah. I'd like to play him again. In the sequel Coalition 2, which is coming very soon! To all our lives! On May 7th! [The panel took place before the UK Election, where the UK did not end up with a second coalition government]

Audience Question 17: Which British actor do you wish to work with?

Andrew: Oh that's a really good question.

[An extended pause while the pair ponder it]

Mark: We've worked with all of them haven't we?

Andrew: [plummy English accent] I think we've worked with everybody haven't we darling?

Mark: [plummy English accent] I think we have, there isn't anyone left now.

Andrew: [Plummy English accent] Oh there's nobody left!

Mark: Oh I don't know. I'm working with Judi Dench at the moment, which is amazing.

Andrew: Oh how is that?

Mark: It's... amazing.

Andrew: Is it? Oh, I'd love to work with Judi Dench.

Mark: You're working with Daniel Craig.

Andrew: I'm working with Daniel Craig, who is a fantastic actor.

Mark: Ralph Fiennes. I'm saying that deliberately.

Andrew: Ralph Fiennes, yeah.

Mark: Well, loads. I love Eddie Redmayne, I'd love to work with Eddie. I say Eddie. I don't know him. Actually, I'd love to work with an actor called Ian Somerhalder as he's SO HOT. I love him!

[The audience whoops and cheers]

 Andrew: I don't know him.

Mark: You do know him. You'd know him if you saw him.

Andrew: Ok.

Mark: I'll show you some pictures! [Laughs]

Andrew: Oh on your screensaver?

Moderator: [Mock wearily] Next question please.

Mark: David feels like he is losing control of the room!

Audience Question 18: This is a question for Andrew. Were you free to act how you wanted when playing Moriarty?

Andrew: I do feel free. That's a very good question actually. When it's as well written as it is you have a sort of foundation from which to spring from, create from. So I do feel very free and I don't feel like there is any one way to play the character. I think it's very important that he is surprising, so in that sense it does have to be very playful. So I always say there are some takes that are extremely embarrassing and wrong and everything, and some of them are ok. You have to learn to give it up at the end, it's one of the things you have to learn as an actor - give the director and the editor as much choice as possible, and then you have to give up and hope that they make the right choice, which sometimes isn't the choice that you'd go for yourself. But yeah, you just give it up and they make the decision. I think it's very important, I think what people look for is listening and playfulness and I think that's what the audience likes so I do feel free, mercifully.

Audience Question 19: I was wondering Mark, when you are writing the scripts how do you choose what to include or change from the original stories?

Mark: Well, Steven and I have just been - we're not on a train, which is annoying us - but we've just been having a little chat upstairs about SERIES FOUR....

[Audience cheers]

Mark: ... which we're making in 2083. It always starts with what stories we'd always like to do, which favourite stories, things like that. But it's more these days about where the rest of the narrative is going for our series really and what might fit into that. And as ever we're talking about using parts of stories or certain larger arcs, and things like that. But it's always been right from the beginning as we've said, because we're so inspired by the Basil Rathbone films, a kind of magpie principle, so you take a bit from this story, take a bit from that. Sometimes there are some larger parts, more or less based upon a story but sometimes it's just a fragment really. So it's the same principle. But it tends to be led by favourites, and the sort of things we want to dramatise which have very rarely been done, like doing their first meeting, or the - I say this a lot - beating the corpses, which is never done, and it's great to find those bits. People often credit us with coming up with things and we just go 'no, it's all in Conan Doyle', just no one knows about those bits because they're not very famous. SO that's the principle really.

Audience Question 20: Hi, my name is Amber, I'm from Whitstable.

Mark: Oh, I love Whitstable. Do you live on the beach?

Audience Question 20: I live near the beach.

Andrew: [American accent] Are you beach body ready?

[Mark and the audience laugh]

Mark: Now I'm ready for Whitstable, that's where I'm ready for.

Audience Question 20: I have two questions. One - why are you both so perfect? And two - do you feel there is a romantic side to Moriarty's obsession with Sherlock?

Mark: Why are we so perfect?

Andrew: You know what? I think perfect is completely stupid and offensive. [Mark laughs] I think that when we say people are perfect it's so...

Mark: Don't take that the wrong way Amber!

Andrew: No, I know you didn't mean it that way, but nobody is perfect and actually what is beautiful about people is they're imperfect and you love them anyway. Nobody is perfect.

[Audience applauds]

Mark: That's why the final line of Some Like It Hot, it tells you everything, it's just the most beautiful summation of what it means to be human.

Andrew: Absolutely.

Mark: But I am perfect. So I would say that. 

Andrew: But I don't think you're human.

[Audience laughs]

Mark: No, there's no romantic side. I think there was a kind of.... as Andrew says, Moriarty is the dark side of Sherlock, he's like a shark I think, just silently moving, constantly moving. I have no idea what kind of a home life he would have, but I don't think there's anything romantic there. In the brilliant Basil Rathbone film The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, George Zucco - fantastic Moriarty - he's been on trial, he comes back to his house, and his servant has not watered one of his plants, and he engenders telling off this servant with such menace, it's just brilliant. That's all he cares about is his plants, and it's a really lovely idea because you get the impression he doesn't care about people at all, but this is really important. It's a little glimpse really into a silent lonely life.  

Audience Question 21: Slightly random question - if you were to appear on Mastermind, what would you have as your specialist subject?

Mark: Andrew.

[Audience laughs]

Mark: I've started so I'll finish. [Andrew laughs] Don't say that anymore do they? I've been asked onto Mastermind a couple of times but...

Andrew: You'd be brilliant at it...

Mark: Oh, it's so... I'm going to get into trouble... it's so dumb these days. They had somebody doing The League of Gentlemen the other day, and the questions... well I didn't get them all [laughs]... but they're so basic.

Andrew: Really?

Mark: That's the celebrity one anyway, but I dunno. Probably Sherlock Holmes I suppose. Or James Bond or Doctor Who. Something like that. Obvious. 

Andrew: James Bond? Really?

Mark: Yeah!

Andrew: Really? Ummm...

Mark: Don't pull that face!

Andrew: Mine would be something to do with art. I like art, modern art maybe.

Mark: [American accent] Who is your favourite painter?

Andrew: [American accent] My favourite painter is David Hockney. Why am I saying that in an American accent?

Mark: Because it's always there. Because you can't do a Scarborough accent!

Andrew: Exactly!

Audience Question 22: I wanted to know why there is a ring on Mycroft's right hand? It's not a wedding ring right?

Mark: It's not a wedding ring, no it's on the left hand. So it's not a wedding ring, it's just a ring. No mystery. Annoying isn't it?

Audience Question 22: It's only for fashion?

Mark: It's for fashion.

Audience Question 22: Really?

Mark: [holding up his hand] This is my wedding ring. This is just a ring. Or am I lying?

[Audience laughs]

Audience Question 22: Oh no! That's cruel!

Audience Question 23: What traits of your characters do you have, or think you have?

Andrew: Ummmmm...

Mark: Chilling lack of compassion? [Andrew laughs] Total contempt for the human race?

Andrew: I would like to think that we are both good at a party. I think Moriarty would be good at a party.

Mark: Yeah I think we could work that route.

Andrew: Ain't no party like a Moriarty party!

Mark: A Moriparty!

Andrew: A Moriparty.

Mark: Episode.... eleven. The Moriparty. Oh. I dunno. I've said this before: exquisite dress sense, and a very nice bottom.

[Andrew and the audience laugh]

Mark: You know it, you said it.

Andrew: I said it!

Mark: You're always saying it.

Audience Question 24: Hello, I'm Mary from Ireland. First Andrew, thank you for yesterday for the pictures of my signs.

Andrew: Oh, no problem. There's a vote at the moment for marriage equality in Ireland that Mary is supporting and there's a referendum on May 22 about gay marriage in Ireland, and if it goes through it will be the first time it's been voted in by the public, not by a government, so if you know any Irish people who are eligible to vote please ask them to register. It would be brilliant, it would help Mary's cause.

Mark: Our people Andrew!

[Audience applauds and cheers]

Mark: I mean the Irish! [Laughs]

Andrew: You're Irish?

Audience Question 24: We saw Moriarty trick Sherlock into thinking he was gay, so do you think Moriarty is Bi or is just unbelievably good at manipulating people and actually has no interest?

Mark: He's Bi... one get one free. [Andrew laughs] I'm here all week. Just feels like it.

Andrew: No, I think that would be really wrong to label, I think labelling people's sexuality anyway is becoming... I dunno...

Mark: Difficult.

Andrew: Difficult, exactly. But for Moriarty I don't think it's helpful. I would never speak about that as it could be very reductive. I do think there is an obsession that he has with Sherlock, and I think the joy of it is people can read into it whatever they want to.

Audience Question 25: If you had to spend the day with your characters, where would you take them and what would you do?

Andrew: Probably go to Mamma Mia.

[Audience laughs]

Andrew: We could all go together. Mycroft, Moriarty, Mark and Andrew. [Mark and Andrew laugh] That's so weird.

Mark: "Chiquitita tell me what's wrong"

Andrew: [Laughing] And then we could go to Angus Steakhouse afterwards for steak. Other steakhouses available.

Mark: I'm not sure that would work out really. Has anyone been to the Harry Potter thing in America? The Experience? It's absolutely unbelievable. I haven't been, I've seen the pictures, it's terrifying. They have reproduced a large section of Central London, including the Wyndham's Theatre from about ten years ago. But the only thing they've missed out in the Angus Steakhouse. But it's so creepy. They've done it on an absolutely colossal scale, I saw the pictures and I couldn't quite believe it. Sorry. That was a total side issue. [Pause] I would go with Mycroft to... gosh. Well I think I'd probably let him take me into the dark heart of the government. See what was going on. No, I'd ask him to take me to Baskerville. See the dogs the size of horses, things like that.

Audience Question 26: I was wondering, if the two worlds of Doctor Who and Sherlock were to collide, how that would pan out in your opinion? And also, if your characters were to have something printed on a t-shirt, what would that be?

Mark: Well obviously we get this a lot really, it could happen but I don't think it should. It's much better in people's heads than anything we could come up with I think. Anything could sort of happen in the Doctor's world, but I've never been a fan of that kind of crossover thing, I don't get it, it feels reductive. You end up with a sort of mash up of things and you don't know where to look really. So I don't think so. How would it pan out? Steven always says that they'd hate each other, as they'd both be trying to be the cleverest in the room. Someone's done a really brilliant one on YouTube, with Matt Smith and Benedict, it's rather incredible. The TARDIS appearing in Baker Street is like broadcast ready, it's amazing. What would I have on a t-shirt? [Pause] "Get Out."

[Audience laughs]

Andrew: Oh I don't know. 'My other t-shirt is clean.'

Mark: 'Ignored Mastermind, went to London, all he got was this lousy t-shirt.'

Andrew: [American accent] 'Beach body ready.'

Mark: Yeah!

[Audience applause]

Andrew: I'll stop saying that now, I'm sorry.

Audience Question 27: Hello, I'm Chelsea from Arizona in the States.

Mark: Hello. Is there anyone called Arizona from Chelsea? [Andrew laughs]

Audience Question 27: It would be like the perfect match. We've been visiting for the past couple of weeks and we're rewatching some of the episodes and noticed that when Mary's face is projected on Lennister Gardens, we're staying on that street.

Mark: Really? Wow. You know it's absolutely true, the second time I came to London when I was a kid, 1979, we stayed in Lennister Gardens. Odd isn't it. Probably stayed in the same hotel.

Audience Question 27: It's beautiful. We hadn't even noticed that it was real.

Mark: Oh yeah, it's all real.

Audience Question 27: I was curious, things like that, different sites in the town, do you know those personally, do you get together as writers and go out and find things?

Mark: We had a thing from the beginning, once we were going to do a 21st Century version, about making London as important in our version as it was in Doyle's, and sort of fetishizing the modern city. So we made a point, even though we shoot most of it in Cardiff, of coming to London to make sure we got the new architecture and also the old, but particularly the modernity of it. But Lennister Gardens is a thing, I'm mad about the Tube, I'm obsessed with London Underground, and that was a little fact I discovered ages ago, that there is this extraordinary fake facade, because it sounds like something from Sherlock Holmes! The idea of putting the real fact in, and then people go there and go 'God, it's actually true', it's just one of those wonderful little quirky things that Boris Johnson is trying to destroy.

[Audience laughs]

Audience Question 27: Do you ever get the cast together to talk about places to shoot?

Mark: We haven't yet, we're going to dinner tonight, we could have a little conflab. Anyone want to go? I want to make a serious political point, genuinely I love London, I'm very worried about what's happened to London, it's a building site at the moment. Everywhere you go, great tracts of it are being demolished apparently with no one's say-so. Soho is being drained...

Andrew: Absolutely all its character.

Mark: ...almost every gay venue seems to be closing, the life blood of the place is just going into skyscrapers, and it's all the fault of the man who is going to be our next Prime Minister. I'll leave you with that thought.

Audience Question 28: I was wondering if I could get an evil Moriarty laugh from Andrew?

Mark: Do a new one!

[Andrew performs an intentionally feeble, high pitched giggle which results in a coughing fit]

Andrew: I don't like you. [Mark laughs] I'm only joking, I do like you. I think evil laughs, it's so funny about an evil laugh. I've never heard Moriarty doing an evil laugh, so when people ask me to do evil laughs, I always think that's just based on a villain, villain's evil laugh, but actually Moriarty doesn't laugh, doesn't have an evil laugh, because people who have an evil laugh are obviously villains, and we've really tried not to do the evil laugh! I still feel really guilty for saying I don't like you, I don't mean that at all!

[Audience laughs]

Mark: That was a Moriarty thing to say, that's good. It's a Moriarty thing to say.

Andrew: It's a Moriarty thing to say. But I don't have an evil laugh for you unfortunately. So pathetic, what an answer! [Andrew releases another high pitched laugh]

Moderator: We're out of time, that was a very strange experience for me, there we go. Please raise the roof for the lovely Mark Gatiss and Andrew Scott!